Adult picky eating is a phenomenon that often gets overlooked or misunderstood. There are countless misconceptions surrounding it, with many people holding negative opinions or passing judgment without truly understanding what it entails (think: that Reddit post you stumbled upon, and tons of others just like it). It’s a topic that’s riddled with stereotypes and assumptions, making researching the topic rather frustrating.

Today, let’s dive into what adult picky eating is and debunk three extremely common misconceptions surrounding the topic.

What Is An Adult Picky Eater?

If you’re scratching your head at the term “adult picky eater”, let’s go ahead and define it: Picky eating in adulthood is characterized by selective eating persisting into adulthood. And if you are familiar with the term, or know somebody who is an adult picky eater, then you might struggle with understanding the “why’s” behind what is, admittedly, a strange phenomenon.

Adult picky eating is more than just being fussy about food choices. It can involve disliking certain textures, flavors, or even whole food groups, turning mealtimes into stress instead of enjoyment. As someone who has dealt with adult picky eating firsthand, I understand the challenges and frustrations it brings.

While extreme cases like ARFID are rare, a study by the University of Alabama found that 30% of adults surveyed identified as picky eaters. Despite this, adult picky eating is still not well understood, and there’s no agreement on why it happens. This lack of understanding makes it hard for both picky eaters and those around them to grasp the struggles they face. It’s not just about being difficult or stubborn; there are often deeper psychological or physiological factors at play.

For more insights into why adult picky eating occurs, check out my blog post, “Picky Eating In Adults | How Does It Happen?” where I explore the complexities of this issue based on personal experience and the limited research available.

Now, let’s debunk some common misconceptions about adult picky eating.

1. Being Picky Is A Choice

If you’re trying to overcome picky eating, you’re likely to encounter a barrage of advice that assumes selective eating is simply a matter of personal preference, or worse, that you’re intentionally being difficult. Unfortunately, delving into online forums or Reddit threads on picky eating reveals a stark lack of empathy for adult picky eaters.

But the reality is far more complex. Picky eating isn’t merely a dietary choice; it often stems from deeper emotional roots, such as feelings of anxiety or trauma surrounding food. Many adult picky eaters struggle silently with shame and have complicated relationships with food, making it difficult for them to seek help or participate in research studies.

The under-researched nature of adult picky eating is partly due to the stigma and shame surrounding the issue. Instead of seeking professional guidance or participating in studies, many picky eaters turn to the internet for support. However, they’re often met with clinical articles offering surface-level advice or unhelpful comments from online trolls telling them to “get over themselves.”

It’s essential to recognize that picky eating is not a deliberate choice to be difficult. Many picky eaters genuinely desire to expand their food choices and overcome their selective eating habits. By fostering understanding and empathy, we can create a more supportive environment for those struggling with adult picky eating, encouraging them to seek the help and resources they need to overcome their challenges.

2. Adult Picky Eaters Are Immature

As I typed out that headline, I couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh. Throughout my deep dive into the world of picky eating, beyond the clinical research, I encountered this attitude far too often. I’d argue that it’s one of the most common misconceptions around – and frustratingly, there’s a bit of truth to it.

Let’s be honest here – we’ve all encountered that one picky eater who seems insufferable. And it’s easy to let that experience color the perception of all picky eaters. But here’s the thing: it’s not the picky eating itself that makes these individuals frustrating to deal with. They’re just insufferable people, whether or not they have picky eating habits.

I want to challenge readers to pause and think about the annoying picky eater in their own lives. Would their pickiness really matter if it were approached reasonably? What if they simply chose not to eat certain foods without making a fuss? Or is it likely that they’d find something else to fuss about anyway? 

Sometimes, the stress felt crushing.

For years, the mere thought of a group meal would send my anxiety levels skyrocketing. If we were heading to a restaurant, I’d meticulously study the menu beforehand, strategizing every detail of my meal. What could I order that required minimal adjustments, without causing a fuss for the kitchen staff? Perhaps I could stick to my reliable choice of chicken fingers and fries – but then, I’d have to brace myself for the inevitable comments from everyone at the table about my “childish” meal selection. (Leave me and my chicken fingers alone!)

Yet, as daunting as restaurant outings were, they paled in comparison to being invited to someone’s home for dinner. In those situations, I’d find myself in a constant state of internal struggle, desperately trying to conceal my discomfort while forcing myself to eat foods I found unpalatable. All the while, I’d be silently praying that no one would notice my discomfort or draw attention to me.

Where am I going with this? Maybe on a bit of a tangent. But my point is that immaturity and picky eating are not one and the same and that picky eating can come with a serious internal struggle. While it’s easy to attribute frustrating behavior to someone’s dietary habits, the truth is that immaturity is a personal trait that exists independently of food preferences. So, and I mean this with love, knock it off with this one.

3. Picky Eating Isn’t a Big Deal

I’m looking at you, picky eaters. Because I went through a phase where I gave up and decided it didn’t matter anymore. Overcoming picky eating is hard. It takes pushing a lot of boundaries and confronting uncomfortable feelings every single day. At the point in my journey where I gave up, I had found a lot of healthy alternatives to my favorite foods. So, why did I need to continue? What was the point of torturing myself any further if I’d already achieved a relatively healthy diet?

But deep down, I was at war with food. I was filled with envy every time I saw someone enjoy a food that I couldn’t stand. What made it so effortless for them to enjoy their meal while I struggled to choke down even the simplest fruits and vegetables? As someone who’s naturally competitive, the fact that I had failed left me more frustrated than ever. 

This leads me to a few major reasons why picky eating is a big deal:

Picky Eating Negatively Impacts Self-esteem.

I know this for sure because you’re here, reading this article. Often, it’s our insecurities that drive us to seek changes, especially when they relate to personal habits like eating. If you’ve found yourself searching for “How to make vegetables taste good” or “how to like vegetables when you don’t like them,” you’re not alone. In fact, hundreds of people a day search for answers to these questions! 

This search is more than just about food—it’s about seeking ways to feel better about ourselves and our choices, highlighting how deeply picky eating can affect our self-esteem. Don’t just take it from me though, here are a few ways that research says picky eating can impact your self-esteem: 

• Psychological Impact: Adult picky eaters report higher levels of psychological distress, depression, and anxiety than non-picky eaters.
• Physical Consequences: When it’s severe, picky eating can lead to weight issues, nutritional gaps, reliance on supplements for nutrition, and daily struggles with shame, anxiety, or just the inconvenience of it all.
• Increased Risk of Obesity: Research done by the National Institute of Health (NIH) hypothesizes that picky eating that persists into adulthood is associated with a higher risk of obesity in adolescence and adulthood due to a common preference for calorie-dense foods and/or a lower intake of fruits and vegetables. It’s important to note that obesity itself is often linked to low self-esteem, further compounding the emotional and psychological challenges associated with picky eating.

Understanding these effects shows us how picky eating affects more than just our diets. It impacts our overall well-being and how we see ourselves. It’s not only about what we eat; it’s also about how our eating habits shape our self-image and how we interact in different areas of our lives.

Picky Eating Can Lead to Isolation

Picky eating in adulthood can lead to a lot of stress, especially in social situations. People with extreme food aversions often feel so anxious about meals that they might avoid social gatherings altogether. This avoidance is a big problem, as it can lead to more than just missing out on fun times with friends or family. It can increase their chances of developing or worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety. Additionally, picky eating that persists into adulthood can have negative consequences for interpersonal relationships when it comes to isolation:

• Personal: Relationships with friends and family can suffer when someone avoids social events that involve food. Missed birthday parties, holiday gatherings, and simple meals out can strain ties and create misunderstandings. Friends and family might feel rejected or believe the avoidance is due to reasons other than eating issues, which can lead to feelings of resentment or confusion on both sides.
• Professional: In the workplace, declining invitations to business lunches or team dinners can be misinterpreted as disinterest in team bonding or career development. This can inadvertently stall career advancement and limit networking opportunities. For those in professions that often use meals as a setting for making deals or building rapport, being a picky eater can present a significant challenge.

This impact of picky eating was a major driving force in my journey to expand my palate. The anxiety around social gatherings became overwhelming, and I wanted to enjoy outings without stressing about the menu. This commitment to change has not only broadened my food choices but also significantly reduced the stress associated with social gatherings, making each meal less about fear and more about enjoying time with my friends, family, and colleagues.

You’re Not Alone

Now that we’ve debunked some common misconceptions about picky eaters, I want to directly address the readers that are here seeking help or just now getting started with their food journey. If today’s discussion resonates with you, know that you’re not alone in this. Your feelings are valid, your struggles are real, and yes, the challenges are tough. The key takeaway here is not just understanding the complexity of picky eating but realizing that you hold the power to change your relationship with food.

Change doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul overnight. It’s a gradual process that begins with setting achievable goals for yourself. It could be as simple as adding one new vegetable to your diet each week or trying a new recipe every month. These steps, though small, can lead to significant changes over time.